Fostering other peoples children can be a real horrible deal.
Sometimes you need more help than is recognised or available, sometimes it goes horrendously wrong....yeah and sometimes it's special.
Those special times make up for all the down times.
Chris phoned today...I can say his christian name, because he is no longer in care, he is just another person we all think about and sometimes write about in our diaries and blogs.
He left our house in a storm of unthinking, unthinking on our side and that of social services, but despite the past, despite the bad time we shared we still keep in contact.
He will be 22 years old in October.
Funny to think of him as a young adult, the last time we met he was 15 years old.
He was desperate to see us and we him. We both thought that we would have time to speak, swap photos, have lunch....quality time catching up.
Social services had different ideas. They were concerned that meeting up would cause problems for his new placement and so they allowed and facilitated him to meet his mum for the first time in three years.
His birth mum quite rightly was more important to him than meeting up with us.
We gave him a hug, told him how much we missed him, passed on the photos and made a sad but Hasty exit.
The kids were sad and didn't really understand....they were hoping, wanting to spend time with him. They missed him terribly.
Funny when i think of Chris, I see him with a plastic police helmet on his head siting out the front of the house on a large boulder, walkie talkie in hand, reporting me for driving to fast.
He has moved yet again, and worried that we would not be able to get in contact with him, he phoned to tell us his new address.
Can i speak to Tess, and Branny and Beth he asked....and they were more than delighted to chat to him.
Gwion was sad,....what about me? He had been a babe in arms, a toddler just when Chris had left.
What's new with Vic and Mat? he wanted to know and we were able to keep him informed, part of the family....our extensive and wonderful family.
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Competition and driving
He who should never....in this case.....be believed really is a devious so and so.
Not content to win the unofficial house blog competition, he seems to have created in this house, he has attempted to lure me into once again having a new rant by elaboration, exaggeration and pure lies.
I am a Paragon of good driving and as to the UFO sightings in South Wales.....I haven't been air borne for at least a week.
Admittedly, I was a little cross with he who thinks he's faultless in all things, but i had given him the option of driving.
He had replied that I should drive as he hadn't been terrified enough that day!
Before i had even turned the key he was clinging on to the door rest, head pushed back into his seat, grimacing like a gremlin. Picture starship Enterprise going into warp speed unbelievable and the hull is about to fail and they are all going to spill into the dark void of space and that is him.
Who am I to disappoint him?
I was perfectly aware of the S bend, the speed at which i was proceeding at, the adverse camber of the road as well as the runny cachi spread across it.
I had judged the reactions of drivers of oncoming vehicles with an astuteness akin to mind reading......apart from that I was in mid rant and it would be a shame for my driving style to be out of sync with it.
He is still alive, which is probably more than he deserves, the car is intact and those driving in the opposite direction were now well awake.
God would once again smile on me, as yet another few converts to his cause prayed quietly in thanks.
I could pull over and he could drive, i suggested.
There was a pregnant pause as he looked down at his white shorts.......not sure that that would be a good idea he said.
Not content to win the unofficial house blog competition, he seems to have created in this house, he has attempted to lure me into once again having a new rant by elaboration, exaggeration and pure lies.
I am a Paragon of good driving and as to the UFO sightings in South Wales.....I haven't been air borne for at least a week.
Admittedly, I was a little cross with he who thinks he's faultless in all things, but i had given him the option of driving.
He had replied that I should drive as he hadn't been terrified enough that day!
Before i had even turned the key he was clinging on to the door rest, head pushed back into his seat, grimacing like a gremlin. Picture starship Enterprise going into warp speed unbelievable and the hull is about to fail and they are all going to spill into the dark void of space and that is him.
Who am I to disappoint him?
I was perfectly aware of the S bend, the speed at which i was proceeding at, the adverse camber of the road as well as the runny cachi spread across it.
I had judged the reactions of drivers of oncoming vehicles with an astuteness akin to mind reading......apart from that I was in mid rant and it would be a shame for my driving style to be out of sync with it.
He is still alive, which is probably more than he deserves, the car is intact and those driving in the opposite direction were now well awake.
God would once again smile on me, as yet another few converts to his cause prayed quietly in thanks.
I could pull over and he could drive, i suggested.
There was a pregnant pause as he looked down at his white shorts.......not sure that that would be a good idea he said.
Sunday, 15 June 2008
About to loose a limb
We are about to loose a limb, yes , ok sounds strange, but that's exactly how it feels.
You know the limb is a little disfunctional, a little bit strange, but it has been a part of us, a part of our family for over 5 years.
The limb has an extention of itself, an older parent, a little way off and this parent hasn't always functioned well but now is on top form and ready and wanting, needing to take on the job of rearing.....and in my heart of hearts I know that this is right.
In my heart of heart I feel bereft, lost and loosing a limb.
Not just any limb, but one we have as a family put everything we had into, nurtured, cared for, grown.
I went to collect him from his birth mother today, from the train station.
He greeted me with a smile and held out his bag. "It was raining back home" he said...and my heart flinched.
Home....This was the first time he had talked of home other than Penlan...and i could feel a great upwelling of sadness and gladness and a crack in my heart.
I know he is not mine, I know i have borrowed him, to care for him for a time, to treat him as if he were my own, but not my own. I knew there would come a time when I would hand him back....but I did not know that i would feel so bereft. I did not know that i would feel as if my world had broken....I did not know.
"It's been sunny but windy here" i heard myself say....and I could see he wanted to know that while he had been away that life had somehow stopped and we, suspended had done nothing of interest.
His real mum said "I've been thinking" and my heart missed a beat" He should go home with you after your trip to France for a few days so that he can say goodbye to his friends."
I knew she was talking about a real and apparent GOODBYE, not a see you later.
I mustered an Ok.....but it wasn't and fighting back the tears we moved forward to the van.
He sat in the front, buckled up and waved his mum farewell.
We drove in silence.... the tears falling.
You know the limb is a little disfunctional, a little bit strange, but it has been a part of us, a part of our family for over 5 years.
The limb has an extention of itself, an older parent, a little way off and this parent hasn't always functioned well but now is on top form and ready and wanting, needing to take on the job of rearing.....and in my heart of hearts I know that this is right.
In my heart of heart I feel bereft, lost and loosing a limb.
Not just any limb, but one we have as a family put everything we had into, nurtured, cared for, grown.
I went to collect him from his birth mother today, from the train station.
He greeted me with a smile and held out his bag. "It was raining back home" he said...and my heart flinched.
Home....This was the first time he had talked of home other than Penlan...and i could feel a great upwelling of sadness and gladness and a crack in my heart.
I know he is not mine, I know i have borrowed him, to care for him for a time, to treat him as if he were my own, but not my own. I knew there would come a time when I would hand him back....but I did not know that i would feel so bereft. I did not know that i would feel as if my world had broken....I did not know.
"It's been sunny but windy here" i heard myself say....and I could see he wanted to know that while he had been away that life had somehow stopped and we, suspended had done nothing of interest.
His real mum said "I've been thinking" and my heart missed a beat" He should go home with you after your trip to France for a few days so that he can say goodbye to his friends."
I knew she was talking about a real and apparent GOODBYE, not a see you later.
I mustered an Ok.....but it wasn't and fighting back the tears we moved forward to the van.
He sat in the front, buckled up and waved his mum farewell.
We drove in silence.... the tears falling.
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
In The Pink
I'm feeling qite well today....in the pink!
Now i'm a person who is often tempted to view the world through rose tinted specs. Unfortunately life has a habit of jumping up, bopping you on the nose and knocking them off.
Reality.......the word is not half has hard as the concept.
As i was driving along yesterday, Zills singing along to her i pod, admiring the purply pink spikes of the foxgloves and the delicate pink of ragged robin in the passing hedgerows, i gave a thought to "PINK" and it's close cousin "RED"
I'm seeing red as i pass yet another fuel station....132.9 pence a litre for diesel.
I glance down and see the fuel gauge is perilously close to the red and i'll never get to the dentists and back before it sinks to empty.
Never fear, he who should never has lent me his credit card, as mine, along with the tesco clubcard and my debit card have been swallowed by the washing machine.
Do you remember when hole in the wall machines were introduced? I do and i was always petrified that it would swallow my card. Let me tell you at least with a hole in the wall machine, you stand a chance of getting your card back in one piece. My washing machine has been spitting them out via the filter in little pieces!
Go to Morrisons, he advises. They have a pay at the pump.
So with his card in my pocket and the number written on the palm of my hand i look for the said supermarket.
He says i'm notoriously bad at navigating.....i think this is part of a spurious propaganda operation by men against women.
I found the dentist, i navigated though Swansea without getting tooted at or having a bump, but i could not find the needed garage.
In desperation i drove into the nearest garage, which happened to have diesel at 127.9 pence per litre....but no pay at the pump.
Feeling hopeful i filled up, pondering overgales in the bank account and being very much in the red.
I walked into the kiosk payed with his card easy peasy!
Not very secure these cards are they, especially since no one looks at them to check a signature?
Zills pink faced watched as i walked towards the car, almost disapointed that the police were not ready and waiting to ambush me.
Now i'm a person who is often tempted to view the world through rose tinted specs. Unfortunately life has a habit of jumping up, bopping you on the nose and knocking them off.
Reality.......the word is not half has hard as the concept.
As i was driving along yesterday, Zills singing along to her i pod, admiring the purply pink spikes of the foxgloves and the delicate pink of ragged robin in the passing hedgerows, i gave a thought to "PINK" and it's close cousin "RED"
I'm seeing red as i pass yet another fuel station....132.9 pence a litre for diesel.
I glance down and see the fuel gauge is perilously close to the red and i'll never get to the dentists and back before it sinks to empty.
Never fear, he who should never has lent me his credit card, as mine, along with the tesco clubcard and my debit card have been swallowed by the washing machine.
Do you remember when hole in the wall machines were introduced? I do and i was always petrified that it would swallow my card. Let me tell you at least with a hole in the wall machine, you stand a chance of getting your card back in one piece. My washing machine has been spitting them out via the filter in little pieces!
Go to Morrisons, he advises. They have a pay at the pump.
So with his card in my pocket and the number written on the palm of my hand i look for the said supermarket.
He says i'm notoriously bad at navigating.....i think this is part of a spurious propaganda operation by men against women.
I found the dentist, i navigated though Swansea without getting tooted at or having a bump, but i could not find the needed garage.
In desperation i drove into the nearest garage, which happened to have diesel at 127.9 pence per litre....but no pay at the pump.
Feeling hopeful i filled up, pondering overgales in the bank account and being very much in the red.
I walked into the kiosk payed with his card easy peasy!
Not very secure these cards are they, especially since no one looks at them to check a signature?
Zills pink faced watched as i walked towards the car, almost disapointed that the police were not ready and waiting to ambush me.
Monday, 9 June 2008
Things for nearly .....FREE
The sun is shining in a bright blue sky, well ok it has been today where i live, and the elderflowers are just coming into bloom.
Not last year but the year before 24robbers came knocking at my door.....oops sorry. I meant Tesco, the electricity board, local fuel station and my central heating supplier!.....oops I meant yesterday!
Love that book!
Elderflowers are blooming and blooming great they are if you like elderflower cordial or champagne!
So for anyone who lives near a supply of plastic screw top bottles, elder bushes, and Tesco (just to buy the sugar and lemons)...oh yeah and you will need some citric acid you could be making your own elderflower cordial/squash.
Citric acid is becoming a little difficult to get, apparently it's because it's used in the making of crack cocaine.
We are onto a winner then with the youngies already!
My grandfathers recipe for elderflower cordial:
Pick 20 heads of elderflower.....Please ask the tree for permission before you take.....or it will turn out like cats pee.
N.B. Only take the flower heads that are fully open and pick in FULL sun.
Yes, I know they smell like cats pee!
2 lemons, unwaxed.
2 tsp citric acid
3.5 llbs sugar
2.5 pints of boiling water
Something to strain it, such as a muslin cloth or a tea towell. ( babies puwk clothes are perfect)
If you want it to give you that little extra, use 4 lemons....useful for sore throats, colds and arthritus i'm told.
Personally i just like it.
Pare the rind of two lemons ( cut it off in long strips) and juice the other 2. No reason why you couldn't use the same 2 lemons. Or make it extra lemony do both, paring and juicing of 4.
Sorry if i'm confusing you!
Heat the sugar and water until it boils, then add the juice and rind of the lemons, also the flower heads and the citric acid.
Leave to cool, covered for 24 hours .
Sterilise bottles with boiling water, strain liquid and fill bottles, leaving a gap for expansion, especially if you want to freeze the cordial.
Serve, diluted, yes , Mr. H, with cold water and ice, add a sprig of mint.
Yes Mr. H I'm sure it's better with cold white wine!
I think it's yummy, so do the kids and even "he who should never" is persuaded to leave the corkscrew alone!
This is a tree i'm told that can ward off witches and if you wear a sprig of elder in yor hat at Beltaine then it said that you may be able to commune with fairies!
Not that I'm an unbeliever, but i wonder is this anything to do with crack cocaine use?
Honestly elderflower cordial is delicious and safe!
If you have a chance and you are pleased with your cordial take a drop back to the elder tree to say thankyou.
Not last year but the year before 24robbers came knocking at my door.....oops sorry. I meant Tesco, the electricity board, local fuel station and my central heating supplier!.....oops I meant yesterday!
Love that book!
Elderflowers are blooming and blooming great they are if you like elderflower cordial or champagne!
So for anyone who lives near a supply of plastic screw top bottles, elder bushes, and Tesco (just to buy the sugar and lemons)...oh yeah and you will need some citric acid you could be making your own elderflower cordial/squash.
Citric acid is becoming a little difficult to get, apparently it's because it's used in the making of crack cocaine.
We are onto a winner then with the youngies already!
My grandfathers recipe for elderflower cordial:
Pick 20 heads of elderflower.....Please ask the tree for permission before you take.....or it will turn out like cats pee.
N.B. Only take the flower heads that are fully open and pick in FULL sun.
Yes, I know they smell like cats pee!
2 lemons, unwaxed.
2 tsp citric acid
3.5 llbs sugar
2.5 pints of boiling water
Something to strain it, such as a muslin cloth or a tea towell. ( babies puwk clothes are perfect)
If you want it to give you that little extra, use 4 lemons....useful for sore throats, colds and arthritus i'm told.
Personally i just like it.
Pare the rind of two lemons ( cut it off in long strips) and juice the other 2. No reason why you couldn't use the same 2 lemons. Or make it extra lemony do both, paring and juicing of 4.
Sorry if i'm confusing you!
Heat the sugar and water until it boils, then add the juice and rind of the lemons, also the flower heads and the citric acid.
Leave to cool, covered for 24 hours .
Sterilise bottles with boiling water, strain liquid and fill bottles, leaving a gap for expansion, especially if you want to freeze the cordial.
Serve, diluted, yes , Mr. H, with cold water and ice, add a sprig of mint.
Yes Mr. H I'm sure it's better with cold white wine!
I think it's yummy, so do the kids and even "he who should never" is persuaded to leave the corkscrew alone!
This is a tree i'm told that can ward off witches and if you wear a sprig of elder in yor hat at Beltaine then it said that you may be able to commune with fairies!
Not that I'm an unbeliever, but i wonder is this anything to do with crack cocaine use?
Honestly elderflower cordial is delicious and safe!
If you have a chance and you are pleased with your cordial take a drop back to the elder tree to say thankyou.
Fang Menders
Spent nearly all day travelling to and from the fang surgery, accompanied by Zills, who also has suddenly developed fang rot.
My teeth are brill, apparently...especially with all the shiny silver amalgum and gold. Seriously the fang doc. thought, after X-ray and freeze the tooth/teeth experiments that breaking my nose had set up some sort of neuralgia....so if i get liver and kidney damage from excessive use of painkillers and whiskey it's my fault for trying to clean out a soaking wet boat on a slope in flip flops!
Thankyou mr H for the anti-biotics!
Zills on the other hand has been sent home with a script for amoxycillin and corsydyl and is about to have her first filling.
She told the fang monster "That's it i'm never brushing my teeth again!"
Grunt has started a week of work experience in a local garage.
"What do you mean you work school hours?....Oh no you don't. Work starts at 8.30am and finishes at 5.00pm. Bring a packed lunch, overalls and toe 'tectors. I'll supply the tea and coffee."
The poor lad dozed all the way home, ate a bowl of cornflakes, followed by bolo, ran a bath and crept into bed without even a grunt, all by 7 pm.
Will he make it to Wednesday?.....
I'm beginning to think i like the whole idea of work....It certainly makes for a quieter time.
My teeth are brill, apparently...especially with all the shiny silver amalgum and gold. Seriously the fang doc. thought, after X-ray and freeze the tooth/teeth experiments that breaking my nose had set up some sort of neuralgia....so if i get liver and kidney damage from excessive use of painkillers and whiskey it's my fault for trying to clean out a soaking wet boat on a slope in flip flops!
Thankyou mr H for the anti-biotics!
Zills on the other hand has been sent home with a script for amoxycillin and corsydyl and is about to have her first filling.
She told the fang monster "That's it i'm never brushing my teeth again!"
Grunt has started a week of work experience in a local garage.
"What do you mean you work school hours?....Oh no you don't. Work starts at 8.30am and finishes at 5.00pm. Bring a packed lunch, overalls and toe 'tectors. I'll supply the tea and coffee."
The poor lad dozed all the way home, ate a bowl of cornflakes, followed by bolo, ran a bath and crept into bed without even a grunt, all by 7 pm.
Will he make it to Wednesday?.....
I'm beginning to think i like the whole idea of work....It certainly makes for a quieter time.
Sunday, 8 June 2008
What a competative person?
Competition is not dead in our house.
Not content at getting his blog on line before i got mine.......i may add by minutes! He can type faster than me. Mr H avidly clicks into his stat counter, he even sends me e-mail reports of how well his blog is going.........Look at my face am i bothered?
This morning he brought his lap top back to bed, so he could cooch up and show me his stats!
It used to be little babies and kiddies coming between us, and in the depth of winter "dozy daisy" the cat.....the lap top is getting close to the last straw!
I've brought you coffee said no.1 daughter, sorted the towels and bathers out.....then i remembered we'd promised to go swimming.
Off to the local pool and some serious swimming. Not for us the larking around in the pool.
A steady breast stroke and i was off. 4 lengths to his 2.
It's not fair he grumbled Zills is putting me off, she's making me laugh.
Excuses, excuses.
Zills was helping him, encouraging him even, in a special voice reserved for encouraging little ones. "Come on daddy, nearly there, you can do it, aim for the light.....no, not that one the furthest one away.....come on daddy, you're doing really well"
As soon as it looked as if he was getting into his stride she'd put on the power and leave him for dead!
The power of sir Bruce.
It's bad enough i can swim further than him......at the moment. I'm sure that will change.
For goodness sake build his self esteem and DON'T READ MY BLOG
Not content at getting his blog on line before i got mine.......i may add by minutes! He can type faster than me. Mr H avidly clicks into his stat counter, he even sends me e-mail reports of how well his blog is going.........Look at my face am i bothered?
This morning he brought his lap top back to bed, so he could cooch up and show me his stats!
It used to be little babies and kiddies coming between us, and in the depth of winter "dozy daisy" the cat.....the lap top is getting close to the last straw!
I've brought you coffee said no.1 daughter, sorted the towels and bathers out.....then i remembered we'd promised to go swimming.
Off to the local pool and some serious swimming. Not for us the larking around in the pool.
A steady breast stroke and i was off. 4 lengths to his 2.
It's not fair he grumbled Zills is putting me off, she's making me laugh.
Excuses, excuses.
Zills was helping him, encouraging him even, in a special voice reserved for encouraging little ones. "Come on daddy, nearly there, you can do it, aim for the light.....no, not that one the furthest one away.....come on daddy, you're doing really well"
As soon as it looked as if he was getting into his stride she'd put on the power and leave him for dead!
The power of sir Bruce.
It's bad enough i can swim further than him......at the moment. I'm sure that will change.
For goodness sake build his self esteem and DON'T READ MY BLOG
Saturday, 7 June 2008
A beautiful place to live.
A perfect end to a beautiful day.Windberries, juicy and pink. Soon they'll turn deliciously dark just right to add a bit of fruity sharpness to a sponge pud or tart........and FREE!!
A spring mix of bluebells and wild ransomes.If you like the smell of garlic, take a walk past the wild ransomes just after it's rained.
Pick the young shoots and leaves...furthest from the path!
They add a brilliant dash of colour and a mild garlic flavour to soups and early spring salads, and guess what they're....FREE!
Questions for dentists
Now I've got lots of half written rants in my drafts box, mostly about my work or on how to...... survive living with mr.H (The latter in the vain hope that the extra lean, younger vegie in Totnes might read my blog and decide she's got better things to do....like eat celery!)
Of late I've been forced to think rather a lot about TEETH.
Now I've got a whole legion of kids here, and every morning and every night i say don't forget to brush your teeth.
I spend a goodly fortune on toothbrushes and toothpaste. The thing of the moment is one that sort of foams up in your mouth and is alleged to get rid of the nasties in the small gaps between your teeth other pastes cannot reach.........but does it have the Ronseal?....Does it do what it says on the pack?
Mr H calls it "Rabies toothpaste"
Are they like shampoos and conditioners......mostly a lot of psychosociodoggiedoo to persuade people to pay more?
A lot of my work is based on best practice, which has been resonably well researched.
What sort of research goes into teeth and where is it published?
For years we have been exorted to brush and floss and pick, swoosh and swill, to flourinate or not......and yet it is now clear that it is not a good idea to do this if you've drunk a fizzy drink.
What evidence is there to support all this oral hygeine?......don't get me wrong i clean my teeth daily.
It's just that i have lots of kids and i have observed...... the one who is now nearly 16 and has probably only brushed her teeth a hundred times in her whole life is the only one who has no fillings and has had no treatment. She is the only one who gets told, lovely teeth and gums, well done every 6 months.
Her elder sister, who is fanatical about oral hygeine has treatment regularly.
Their younger brothers, who don't see the necessity of washing , nevermind cleaning teeth, have only the problems of chipped front teeth.....freefalling from bicycles.
Beth with a mouth full of amalgum is hardly a good advert for toothpaste, brushes, flosses and washes.
Very puzzled mum!
Of late I've been forced to think rather a lot about TEETH.
Now I've got a whole legion of kids here, and every morning and every night i say don't forget to brush your teeth.
I spend a goodly fortune on toothbrushes and toothpaste. The thing of the moment is one that sort of foams up in your mouth and is alleged to get rid of the nasties in the small gaps between your teeth other pastes cannot reach.........but does it have the Ronseal?....Does it do what it says on the pack?
Mr H calls it "Rabies toothpaste"
Are they like shampoos and conditioners......mostly a lot of psychosociodoggiedoo to persuade people to pay more?
A lot of my work is based on best practice, which has been resonably well researched.
What sort of research goes into teeth and where is it published?
For years we have been exorted to brush and floss and pick, swoosh and swill, to flourinate or not......and yet it is now clear that it is not a good idea to do this if you've drunk a fizzy drink.
What evidence is there to support all this oral hygeine?......don't get me wrong i clean my teeth daily.
It's just that i have lots of kids and i have observed...... the one who is now nearly 16 and has probably only brushed her teeth a hundred times in her whole life is the only one who has no fillings and has had no treatment. She is the only one who gets told, lovely teeth and gums, well done every 6 months.
Her elder sister, who is fanatical about oral hygeine has treatment regularly.
Their younger brothers, who don't see the necessity of washing , nevermind cleaning teeth, have only the problems of chipped front teeth.....freefalling from bicycles.
Beth with a mouth full of amalgum is hardly a good advert for toothpaste, brushes, flosses and washes.
Very puzzled mum!
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Dentists
Dentists.....They are among those wonderful group of people we love to hate.......unless you've got toothache and then they are mysteriously transported into that group of people we hate to love, but love to see.
Ahh love is so fickle.
Having now digested a whole course of anti-biotics, which i may add i have not divulged in since the new millenium, a large bottle of whiskey, several packets of aspirin and paracetemol. Not all at once or i'd probably be writing from the great beyond!
I am feeling considerably less in pain and have chickened out of a visit to the fang monster.
Excuses are us abound!
Monday on the other hand looks as if it will be my personal "D" day.
I suspect i am in for open hand bag surgery, or in my case whatever is in my jeans pocket that hasn't been eaten by the washing machine monster.
Ahh love is so fickle.
Having now digested a whole course of anti-biotics, which i may add i have not divulged in since the new millenium, a large bottle of whiskey, several packets of aspirin and paracetemol. Not all at once or i'd probably be writing from the great beyond!
I am feeling considerably less in pain and have chickened out of a visit to the fang monster.
Excuses are us abound!
Monday on the other hand looks as if it will be my personal "D" day.
I suspect i am in for open hand bag surgery, or in my case whatever is in my jeans pocket that hasn't been eaten by the washing machine monster.
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