Mummies Piggies

Thinking along the lines of vegetarianism and bacon sandwiches, I find myself thinking about our dear little piggies...alas they are no more....eaten they are by ourselves and our friends....Yummy Scrummy they were too!

"Do you want some piglets?" said a friend. What sort of friend she is I'm beginning to wonder!
They were so deliciously beautiful, two little Glouster Old Spot/ Tamworth Cross piglets, Boars, apparentlty, she assured me without the relevant bits.
I am so stupid, I never looked. How I missed the bits that shouldn't have been there....say no more, I'm gullable, daft and naive.

Well prepared, got a book from the library, pig fencing and number one son and crazy friend, called ....Grendal (should have had second, third and tenth thoughts with such a name) made a pig house.

Pigs root around, turn over land and eat anything........Anyone seen that horror film, where the pigs are fed humans?......Ok...lets not go there!

Little, darling, sweet piggies arrive and we are all delighted........

.....................Not for long!
It's very hot and lovely Chris, who is a little hard of thinking, in the kindest way, is concerned that Christmas and Easter are a bit too hot and need cooling down.
Caught in the act of cooling little piglets down with copious ammounts of very cold water from a very large bucket. "Chris, stop " I foolishly shout. "They are only little, they'll get cold and could die"
He is sad. He was only trying to help. He will remember " PIGS MUST NOT GET WET"

Little piglets they do not remain. Their size seems to increase exponetionally daily.

The pig nuts are stored in an old car, and Christmas and Easter, our two growing piggies are very clever and increasingly immune to the electric shocks of our pig fencing. ......
Piece of cake, breaking into a car, for pigs!

Even bigger and fatter piggies, but no sign that their intelligence is waning......they smell female piggies, a mile up the road and have gone "A wall" It's ok, they haven't got their bits....oops!

I run up the road after Christmas and Easter, 10 litre bucket filled with rattling pignuts, in the vain hope that food will win out over F***(interest in the female form)

Serves her right for telling porkie pies! Her sows, were now very likely preggers by their brothers!....Brings a whole new dimention to the family way!

OOps no longer friends I suspect!

Having had their wicked way they were content to follow me down the road. " Come on mummies piggies " I cried whilst jiggling the rattling pignuts, hoping against all hope that no-one would recognise me.

Now, it's pretty typical of Pembrokeshire, that it rains , and pigs being pigs they were running amuck in the farmyard and rain being rain it was pretty wet.
Chris remembered "PIGS MUST NOT GET WET"

He opened the front door and invited.....300 llb of pig x2 into the house out of the rain.

Have you any idea what two fully grown greedy piggies can do in a house?

I didn't know who to scream at first, so scream i did....but pigs can upturn a large freezer and fridge and riffle its contents, immune to screams, turn tables and push arm chairs into splinters before you can say" pork chops"

Yummy, scrummy the best place for piggies is on my plate!

Vegetarians........sorry!