This house lark

This house lark is really getting to me, especially as I'm not the greatest homeworker.
I love cooking and my ancient aga rarely lets me down. It slow cooks meat that just falls apart when you show it the cutlery and never overcooks the fish. Keeps everything moist, warms the plates; is rescue remedy for kittens, dries out trainers and is hugely comforting in the middle of a stormy night. Best of all, being a short arse, it warms my bum !

I quite like ironing too. It gives me a chance to hog the telly. Don't get me wrong. I'm really ,truly abysmally awful at ironing, putting more creases in than there were originally but i like the mindless turning and folding and smoothing and the hiss of the steam and the smell.

The rest of it.......especially bathrooms and we've got three is just utterly boring, endlessly tedious and quite frankly a waste of time. Well ok, perhaps not the bathrooms. I just hate doing them!
Tidying up, clearing away.......can't find a dam thing and to be honest with 7 kids in the house it,s pointless. Have you seen that advert...I think it's for a loan ...The woman has this perfectly clean tidy living room, a fixed smile of happiness and contentment. She is on the phone arranging a loan or insurance and her children ask her for something, try in the garage darling she interjects with her happy sing song voice and then her beloved falls over it....."I think he's found it"
It's so unreal!

People coming to view the house again today. Hoovering, dusting, polishing.......I'm not cleaning the bloody windows!
I wiped down the lamp shade...please note i only said one lampshade. That's because it's the only one we've got. Thank god.
I wiped down the lampshade and rediscovered it's colour so that should tell you something about my attitude to housework.
I have hoovered the whole house twice this week.....the carpets will be worn out, nevermind me. Hoovering, what sort of idiot invented that?
My friend Debbie is a compulsive hooverer, she has to do it twice a day, the whole house, and sometimes inbetween times.....her husband has put in laminate flooring but she still has to do it.
We were on a course together run by a psychologist who at lunch firmly told her she should seek help.....OOw no she couldn't possibly get someone else to do it. They might not do it well enough!
Don't think that was quite what he meant.

It was a great relief to me to read in New Scientist some 20 years ago a possible connection with the overuse of cleaning chemicals and leukemia and i have exploited this possibility ever since.
Have you ever looked at the ingredients of some polishes, air freshners, surface cleaners?
Bet you havn't and if you have you're probably a greenie.
As i Mr Sheened the surfaces I thought to look.....
aliphatic hydrocarbons.....can this be good?
non ionic surfactant......is it better than ionic ?
methylchloroisothiazolinone....... not going to name your son that are you?
Benzisothiazolinone.......say no more
What the hell is glutaral?
The most important question of all is..Why are we spreading all this gunk in our homes when we don't know what it is?
We know not to inhale cigarette smoke or if we do we are taking on the risks associated with it.
We tell our kids not to inject, smoke, snort drugs. They are chemicals too, probably half of them are in the products we use daily.....well not me!

Going to live in a yurt is starting to look very attractive.
Do people who live in yurts hoover?
I wonder if they use glutural to clean their surfaces.