EGGs

Haven't written anything for ages...been too busy, washing clothes, organizing and packing for a weekend of efficacious and various musical entertainment.
The phone tintinabulates....could we keep an eye on Josh. His friend isn't allowed to go and mummy and daddy are worried he'll get up to no good at a music fest.....alcohol, drugs sex....I wish!
Now the thought of bigmacs boyfriend coming with us for a weekend of camping fills me with all the dread of swimming in seaweed!
Two adults, one of whom will be sleeping 6 hours and working 20 in each day and the other who just wants to bop and chill with the said same worker for 28 hours in every day.....7 kids and another who is enchanted with eldest daughter....sad git!
Spells disaster before it's even started.
The phone ring rings again.
Is J going to the fest? says a nervous mum.
No he's house and animal sitting i reply.
A sigh of relief..."in that case can you keep an eye on Mattie?"
Well, she's really cool, for a teen, witty intelligent and fun to be with...no probs!
Forward and on...wellies or flipflops? Shorts or thermals?
Bought a great double sleeping bag and self inflating mattress......intimacy and warmth guaranteed.....well as long as I can find a victim to share it with!
Zills comes home from school with a by the way LLyr (her very distant 75th cousin 24 times removed God botherer) wants to come to the fest as well and further more his mammy will phone that very evening.
AAAAGGGGHHHH... no one told me it would be worse when they were teens!
Mammy was worried about drugs and drink and Mr H being a relative she knew he would be safe!!!!!!!????????
Obviously not the most loving and in touch parent. Visions of lambs and wolves uppermost in my mind I continued to prepare.
Prepare for what?

The weather was great, the self inflating mattress and double sleeping bag lived up to all expectations. The music outstanding and the kids were an asset, a credit to their parents and stupendous ambassadors for youth......great Junior stewards!

What' s that got to do with eggs?

The first morning blurrr after the late night before was welcomed in by the quacking and gaggling of many ducks, slug slurping around the tents.
The said ducks stayed and layed whilst I cooked breakkie on a two ringed stove for 12 and Dave...whoever he was.
Two eggs later, one of which was poached and served up with great ceremony. The other freshly layed was declared the new would be son or daughter of Sir Bruce and was promptly stashed under her arm pit to be kept warm and incubated until hatched.
No one told her it would take 20 days, but help in the form of saddo the clown and his marvellous egg saver balloon ......at least if she rolled over in the night the balloon would contain the gunk.....that was the idea.
Not content to just nurture this would be little brucette, the egg was transported warmly everywhere, experiencing the delights of the waffle bar, ice cream parlour and the various musical extravaganzas...tucked safely in her bra? it bopped and danced, jived rocked and swayed....until it bounced right out and ended spread across the dance floor.
Wailing above the sound of garage, beating her breast in anguish with the BOOM BOOM of the drums she looked in horror at her yellow and white smelly offspring.
...........Daddy, god bless has got her a duckie for when we come back from France.