It's 2.30 am....the house is snoring and the old man is farting quietly but deadly in his sleep. The noxious fumes steal against me like carbon monoxide in a defective boiler.
The silent killer, creeping closer in the small hours, changing what is, to a nightmare scenario of what could be.....
a fair haired beauty sobs quietly at the bottom of the bed.
.......I am awake!
'Mum, the printer wont load the paper properly' comes a whispered voice through the ether of my fuddled mind.
'Mum....Mum....
The printer.... The hysterics of the previous morn come flooding back. The mad and hectic dash to comets to purchase yet another printer ......
Would it talk to the computer or would it sulk, like a teenager, drooping languidly on the desk, daring you to question or even look at its working agenda.......pouting, brooding, defying!
'Why have we never got any printer ink?..
'Why havn't we got the right paper?...'
'Why do i never buy the right sized file, colour, shape, pocket, box etc?....'
'Why does everyone else need to use the computer now?'
Because.....yes, i know you are not allowed to start a sentence with...because....
The geography project work is due in at 9.30 am that very day .....and if it's not handed in it's a grade C automatically......and.......and she is a grade A pupil and that's not fair!
We swallow, and unvoiced, the words play in my mind....'and how long have you had to do this assignment?......6 months and you wake me up now to help you 6 hours before the deadline?'
Now, it's not as if we are hands off parents.....we care. We go dutifully to the parents evening, we ask contientiously have you done your homework? Do you need any help?
We listen with awe and wonder at the days activity and thank god we are no longer teenagers.....well ok , maybe we wish we were but not with all the anxe!
Have we been greeted with....'Oh for gods sake!' and other indignant phrases, ones generally not approporiate for the tender ears of internet users?
Most certainly!
I bounce out of bed or not and load the paper in the printer, minor adjustments to the page size and she's ready to roll......I fuel up the log burner, pour a drink of juice for the beauty and a bowl of sunflower seeds, kiss her and leave for bed once more.
The pages spew from the printer with a characteristic kerchunck, kerchunck and i can hear the quick light tap of the keys on the keyboard.....ever desperate in their urge to perform.......i drift into sleep and know tomorrow will be a rotten day!
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