Xmas Presents

That season is upon us once again.....of good will to all men.
Not in my house!

For several years now i have received tokens of love at Christmas. Well thats what he calls them.
Effort of thought has gone lovingly into each choice gift....Rotovator, electric Jigsaw, workbench, felling axe, ride on lawnmower and a fossil fish in a bit of stone.

Is he hard of thinking you may wonder.

Now you may think that perhaps these are presies he would have liked for himself. Not at all is the garden for him, nor carpentery or D.I.Y and where the fish comes in is totally beyond me.
Perhaps he desired to bring an element of suprise to our relationship.

He has, however, benefitted from each gift....well apart from the fish. He has enjoyed the spuds and home grown, peas and onions, not to mention the goosegogs. He delighted in the boxes made for his green goddess engine heads and has had endless laughs at the thought of me chopping down trees.

Not for him this year, his annual supply of pants and socks (mainly because he tries to make them last a whole year without washing them) One pair a month....told you he was romantic.
Not for him the annual documentary of his life...an only fools and horses dvd or a thought provoking book by Mr Mortimer. Not for him the smellies....lets face it nothing can cover up the smell of infused pants and rigid socks.
No, not for him, a brass bell for his G.G. or a sign writing token.
A shaver, a toothbrush, a grooming set would be wasted on this virtuous vagabond and clothes would soon benefit from an oily dip....Man at C&A....more like man from greasy garage.

This year, i plan to seek my revenge.
A notable gadget has come to my attention, a robotic mop! The blurb says it will clean your floors and wait for it...difficult to reach places! It can do this with 98% accuracy!!!
Lego have a mindstorm programmable robot.....I thought i could get older son to programme it as a surrogate mother type and make it follow him, reminding him to wash his hands, brush his teeth and change his pants and socks, pick up his clothes and pack him off to work.

Dream on i suspect!